Unconditional Love

Have you love someone unconditional? lets start from now…

5 years my marriage time with Ellen is a hardest time in my life. Everyday I feel we’re not match and connect to each other.

We fighting because the small things, because Ellen so slow open the gate for me in the time I came home, because he bought table corner in our family room without discussed it first with me which is for me its just spend money for useless thing.

Today, August 27 is Ellen birthday, we fought this morning because Ellen wake me up so late, I’m so upset and not said happy birthday to her until now. Time is 10 o’clock in the night, I clean my working table and going home. Its raining hard, even its almost midnight but street in this city Read the rest of this entry »

Is Cheating All About Sex?

This is part 3 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth that men is cheating more than women. Read about it here. For this part we will discuss a myth that is still very much alive. Is cheating all about sex? Even faced with that question raises an interesting dilemma. Is it only cheating if sex is involved? There are a lot of opinions about that one and I’m sure you got yours. To define cheating seems an impossible task as it is very subjective and touchy matter. For example for some people, if you just look at another person it’s like emotional cheating. Some draw the line at hugs and kisses and some don’t see it as cheating unless there is actual sex, and that includes oral sex (sorry Bill!). But for this article we assume that sex has to be involved somehow at least sexual emotions and feelings because at some stage the “cheating” will evolve to that and most people think that it’s all about the sex, but is it really?

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Are Men Cheating More Than Women?

This is the Part 2 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. You can find Part 1 here.

In the last part I discussed whether cheating happens because we are unhappy at home, and the findings were rather interesting. Read about it here. In Part 2 we are discussing the ancient myth that men are cheating more than women. Is that really so, even in 2008? In the old days, it was definitely the case, and when I talk about the old days, I mean the 60s, 50s and even before that. It was a different time then, but does time change man? When you read the news today you hear all about some war going on somewhere which just shows we never learn. Does the myth still hold truth in 2008?

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Do You Remember Your Anniversaries?

Don’t tell me that you forgot already? Well, it so happens that it is 17 months today since me and my lovely wife met. That’s an anniversary by the way, but we celebrate it monthly. Tomorrow is our 2^nd month of marriage anniversary. We love anniversaries and so should you! Here’s why:

Special dates means more to celebrate and more to celebrate means more happiness. This is true in more ways than one. Not only do you get an excuse to do something special (like you need one), but you also get to do it with the one you love. I don’t know if it’s a cliché or not, but in all the movies and TV series I’ve seen it’s usually (always) the man who messes up and forget all about the important anniversary while the woman has been planning and looking forward to it for months. Listen guys, I am not judging, but is this really the case? If it is, why are you letting a perfect opportunity to get into the good books of your lovely girlfriend, fiancé or wife pass you by?

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The Number 1 Reason Why Marriages fail

I believe that all big problems stem from a number of small problems. It’s like pebbles filling up a cup and when it’s too much, it falls over and real trouble begins. Everyone has a limit of forgiveness and if that line is constantly pushed, you might not have anything to forgive in the end because it will be all over. You can’t avoid saying stupid things or getting into silly arguments over small things sometimes, but if you are aware of it, you can limit it and also repair a lot of it over time. Think about the things you say and do, then try to think about why your partner reacts the way he or she does. The clues you pick up might be vital for your future marriage.

An example of this might be that you are not paying your partner enough attention when you visit your family for example. It can be very hurtful for your partner when you are paying more attention to others than your partner, even if it is your own family. If it happens once, you will no doubt say sorry and your partner will forgive. No problem right? It’s a small piece of the puzzle, and if it happens again, it will all come back how you are not treating your partner like the most important person in your life, which he or she definitely is and should be.

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Story To Share (Marriage and Relationship)

CARRY ME BEFORE YOU DIVORCE ME

Original title : “Sebelum Kamu Menceraikanku, Gendonglah Aku” (Indonesian Version availabe below)

In my wedding day, i carry my wife. The wedding car stop in front of our one room flat. My best friends ask me to carry her when she out from the car, so i carry her enter our house. she look so shy and I’m the happiest groom in that time. That’s what happen in 10 years ago.

After that, days past so simple like a clear water. we have a son. I start a business and try to earn a lots of money. But When the wealth increase, the love plait between us become recede. She is a civil employee, and every morning, we go to work together and back to our home in the same time. Our marriage look so happy.

But the peaceful life suddenly change because something that i never imagine before. Dew comes to my life. I still remember that time, the sunny day, i stood on the balcony with dew on my arms, I’m Holding her so tight. My heart once again like absorb to the love that she gave to me. This is the apartment that i bought to her. Dew spoke to me, “you are the best typical man that attract so many woman”.

Her words suddenly remain me to my wife. When we just married, my wife said to me, “A man like you, once you got your success, you will become so attractive for the women”. Thinking bout this, i become unsure. I know i betrayed my wife, but i couldn’t  stop it. I release her hands and talked, “you have to go to buy some furniture, O.K? I need something to do at work.”

I can see, she look not happy because i promised will accompany her. In that time, divorce idea become so strong in my mind even its looks impossible. However I feel so hard to talk about this to my wife, no matter i explain, she will feel so much hurts. Honestly she a good wife. Every night she busy to prepare our dinner, i sit relax in front of television. Dinner will be ready soon, and we will watch TV together or I will turn on the computer. but imagine dew and her body is like amusement for me.

One day, I talk in a joke, “if we divorce, what will you do?”. She look at me in the seconds silently. In the fact she believe that divorce is a something that she never expected, so far from what she can imagine.

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The Recipe Of Happy Marriage

This time i wan to talk about recipe. why recipe? Am i talking about food here? No, I’m not, even i said the same Principe with cooking and make delicious food but what i wan talk here is about the Marriage life.

Maybe you feel confused,  what is the connection between cooking and marriage?

Okay, let me explain. What you need when you cook? A recipe, yeah that’s right, but what exactly the meaning of recipes? In some source i found (i looking for simple meaning). A recipe is a set of instructions that show how to prepare or make something. Hmmm, instruction, prepare, make something. For me, its sounds same like a marriage life. There’s some instruction that you have to follow, to prepare, to make a purpose, a happy marriage life.

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Sex and the city

I watched Sex and The City last month. and for me, its nice movie about love. When in a relationship, I have learned that its not easy, but it doesn’t mean that we give up when the problems come. For me, its always back to ourselves, what we looking for, what makes us fall in love, back to basic, try to forgive not only for our couple but our self too. i believe relationships can’t work alone, it’s like a mirror that always give a reflection. What we feel, what we do, will be coming back to us.

Its kind of like my habit, every time i watch a love movie, I try to find what tools they use (like books, video, or anything else) and in this movie, I found they use a beautiful love letter from Ludwig van Beethoven. This is the letter Mr. Big quotes at the wedding with Carrie.

The problem is that the love letter is not read completely in the movie so I searched for it and found the complete version.

So here it is, the beautiful love letter. Every time i read this, i just want to run after my man and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow.

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