What If You Fall In Love With Someone Else?

Imagine yourself in this situation: You are in love with someone, even deeply so. It can be your wife or your husband, your lover, your girlfriend or your boyfriend.

Then one day, something hits you, something so awful you can’t even think straight. You fall in love with someone else. What do you do and how does this happen? We all believe in true love and one love, well at least us who are not cynical about life, but pray you are never in such a situation.

I’ve seen it happen many times to seemingly solid couples. They seem madly in love, and like a bomb, that love is is transferred to someone else. It does seem hard to believe and if I only read it in a blog post like this I would be very sceptical. Let’s just for the sake of argument say that it’s a possibility, ok?

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Is sex with an ex not considered cheating?

This is part 5 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth: Does cheating mean that you don’t love your partner? Read about it here. In this part, which is part 5, I will talk about a long-lived myth that sex with an ex isn’t really cheating. A lot of people seem to think that this is not cheating even though all the signs point to that. What is it about this myth that is so special? Some people reading this wants to use this article as an excuse to go ahead and do it, like a justification. Others will want me to arrive at the other conclusion that is cheating plain and simple and there’s no excuses.

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Is Cheating All About Sex?

This is part 3 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth that men is cheating more than women. Read about it here. For this part we will discuss a myth that is still very much alive. Is cheating all about sex? Even faced with that question raises an interesting dilemma. Is it only cheating if sex is involved? There are a lot of opinions about that one and I’m sure you got yours. To define cheating seems an impossible task as it is very subjective and touchy matter. For example for some people, if you just look at another person it’s like emotional cheating. Some draw the line at hugs and kisses and some don’t see it as cheating unless there is actual sex, and that includes oral sex (sorry Bill!). But for this article we assume that sex has to be involved somehow at least sexual emotions and feelings because at some stage the “cheating” will evolve to that and most people think that it’s all about the sex, but is it really?

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Are Men Cheating More Than Women?

This is the Part 2 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. You can find Part 1 here.

In the last part I discussed whether cheating happens because we are unhappy at home, and the findings were rather interesting. Read about it here. In Part 2 we are discussing the ancient myth that men are cheating more than women. Is that really so, even in 2008? In the old days, it was definitely the case, and when I talk about the old days, I mean the 60s, 50s and even before that. It was a different time then, but does time change man? When you read the news today you hear all about some war going on somewhere which just shows we never learn. Does the myth still hold truth in 2008?

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Are we cheating because we are unhappy at home?

This is the Part 1 of the TLG Cheating Myths series.

If you read the headline, I’m sure you’re going “Duh!”. Well this is one of the old myths of cheating. It’s always because we are unhappy at home, right? Unhappy with the wife, husband or kids will surely drive you to cheating. Although cheating never made any sense to me, it’s interesting to look at the various reasons for cheating. I know people who are unhappy at home, but I can’t see them cheating on each other for that reason.

If you are a man, heads up! According to recent studies, it’s the women who cheat the most for this particular reason. I think it is because women are emotional thinkers and men are rational beasts. The women are more in tune with their feelings and emotions while men care less for the “small” things. I am generalizing here, but there is truth to it. That’s why the recent studies make sense. Men, you need to pay attention to how you treat your wife. Trouble in the home is a huge reason for women to do the dirty deed with someone else. I am not making excuses for them as there are none whatsoever, but the facts are the facts. Pay attention to the signs and take early steps in order for you both to be as happy as possible.

If you are a woman, then you’re in for quite a challenge. First some good news: Men are not very likely to cheat because they are unhappy at home. Their reasoning is very structured and logical. They simply think the risk is too big to take, and don’t want to be humiliated and exposed so they rather stay unhappy than cheat. There is a noteworthy exception according to studies. If, and it’s a very big if, they know that they can get away with it, they will most likely do it. The keyword here is know. If they think they can get away with it, they probably won’t do it. So keep your man happy, and he will give you happy days? Unfortunately there is more bad news for you women. Men WILL cheat on you even if they love you and have great sex with you as well. In fact, 56% of cheating men are very happy with their relationship. That is as disturbing as it is true. Even if the stats are discouraging, I believe that there is something the stats are not revealing, the level of communication. There needs to be constant flow of good communication from both sides, and I also believe that for men it is numero uno to be 100% comfortable. If you have great communication and comfort together, then cheating won’t be a problem.

To answer the myth: If you are a woman, yes. If you are a man, no.