Will Love Grow In Time?

photo by Keiya Tillnes
photo by Keiya Tillnes
When you read that question above, what do you think? recently I am doing my survey to find out, is it true that love can grow in time? Even if you married someone that you did not love, will it be okay in the future because you think you can learn to love that man or woman in the end?

I found some cases with people who married without love, Now the marriage is almost 5 years old and some couples already had a child. They told me that they were not happy, some of them said they felt suffering with this situation and wish they had a second chance to go back in time that they decided to accept that marriage and said NO.

But why, what exactly happens? What makes them brave enough to gamble with their love and feelings? It is like “Ok, let’s try and see, maybe later I can love you, yeah who knows, at least i can learn to love you, but if its not, hmmm we will see what we can do later”

There are so many reasons that makes people feel trapped when they decide to get married even there’s no love in their hearts. Some things that i found out are:

1. Family: This is the biggest reason that i found why people get married without love. Your family likes that person, they think that man or woman is the best for you, your family and that persons family has a close relationship, your family push you to marry him, but that is your family not you! Something that we have to realize here is that it’s not our family who will be married with that man or woman, not them who will spend every day together with that man or woman for the rest of their lives, sleep in the same bed, sharing a home and life together but us. What i think about this situation is that you can listen to your family of course, I believe they want the best for you, but you should not just accept this. At least ask the time to know that person better first, see if you have chemistry or not and after you try to be close and know them better, but you found that you haven’t any interest or feelings for that person, tell your family. I know that in some cultures or countries it is really hard to speak loudly about what we want, the family is too dominant and take the freedom. But remember that no one have the right or claim to your happiness, we are the creator of our own life and happiness. What i am saying here is please do not gamble with your love and happiness. it is so great if finally you can love that person during in time, but what if it’s not? will you be ready to spend your days with regret?

2. Age: Another strong reason is age and it is mostly happens with women in some countries and cultures. They think that they are not so young anymore and make the decision to get married just for status and to avoid the negative thoughts and perception from the people you know. I know age is big issue for some people but that does not mean you just pick up someone and then get married with them without thinking about your own feelings. I have an example here. There is a man, he is almost 40 years old and he is falling in love with some girl. The problem is that girl is younger than him. She is not even 15 years old and in the woman is clearly not ready to get married. That man can’t wait that long to get married and his family also started to push him because they think he is to old to be a single man. Finally, he chose one girl that want and is ready to get married with him. What happens next? Now even he is already married, he could not forget his girl, the one that he loves. He could not push her away from his mind and it makes him feel suffering and unhappiness. He knows he made a mistake, because now he is a married man, but he could not help it and wish he could turn back time.

3. Low self confidence: Some people think they don’t deserve to get happiness, don’t deserve to get the man or woman that they want, for them it is too good to be true if there’s someone who wants to be with them and marry them.

whatever the reasons are, i think it is to risky to put your whole life in the uncertain situation in the future. The most important thing that we have to know here is our self is deserve to get a happiness, love yourself, appreciate and respect your freewill and dream. life is to short to fulfill with regret because you made a wrong decision. But if you already made it, all is come back to you now, especially when you already had children. Instead that cried and regret your life, think positive and grateful for whatever you had now. You can do a lot of positive activities and share your love to all people who need it. When you give more love, you will get more too.

Lets share with us about this topic will love grow in time? we glad to hear your thought and comment :

I really hope all people will get the happiness in this life.

  1. 5 Responses to “Will Love Grow In Time?”

  2. Great question!! I think it is possible for love to grow over time. First of all, I believe it is possible in a sense that two people who where in love in the first place who then learn to cultivate and continue to grow that passion and love.

    But I also think it is possible in the sense that you mentioned. I think there is a possibility that sometimes we marry our soul mate although we might not have that recognition in our hearts at the time we married them due to us being immature, us not being ready for a relationship, or for it being the wrong timing, or whatever.

    But I think through the process of growing up and learning to fulfill our different needs as we become more mature and learn to know ourselves better, it is possible for us to learn to recognize that the person that we have been all along is our soul mate and then from there on to learn to grow that love.
    Mikko Kemppe – Relationship Coach´s last blog ..Why Do Relationships Seem So Complicated Today? My ComLuv Profile

    By Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach on Sep 10, 2009

  3. Greetings..
    I was very impressed with your articles and I mostly agree with your opinion. I am the one who truly appreciate the value of love but in this world now is very difficult to meet the true love that we dream off. I am very grateful to you nd I hope you will continue adding more and more useful advice and guidance so that people will know more and appreciate the value of true love.

    Thanks for sharing.. :)

    By Nithya on Oct 16, 2009

  4. Love will grow over time if love is already there. If it isn’t, love can’t grow, but I think that love can be developed. Like two long time friends who starts to have feelings for each other.

    Good point about growing up and different needs. We all change, feelings can come and go, all part of being human. If one of those feelings that grows is love, nothing is better than that!

    By Tillnes on Oct 17, 2009

  5. Thanks for saying that! Finding love, especially the one you will cherish forever is incredibly difficult, but it’s worth the wait. My advice is to be patient and not become annoyed with the fact that you can’t find love easily. The quest, the journey is supposed to be hard for a reason. Let it flow natural and don’t make hasty decisions.

    Thanks for visiting! I hope you come back in the near future. Please share more of your insightful comments :)

    By Tillnes on Oct 17, 2009

  6. This is really a very insightful post. I completely agree that marrying without love is like losing an opportunity to live because a life without love is no life. Thanks for sharing your ideas. Your blog is awesome and all the posts are wonderful. God bless you.
    Pratishtha´s last blog ..Accessing love My ComLuv Profile

    By Pratishtha on Oct 20, 2009

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