Unconditional Love

Have you love someone unconditional? lets start from now…

5 years my marriage time with Ellen is a hardest time in my life. Everyday I feel we’re not match and connect to each other.

We fighting because the small things, because Ellen so slow open the gate for me in the time I came home, because he bought table corner in our family room without discussed it first with me which is for me its just spend money for useless thing.

Today, August 27 is Ellen birthday, we fought this morning because Ellen wake me up so late, I’m so upset and not said happy birthday to her until now. Time is 10 o’clock in the night, I clean my working table and going home. Its raining hard, even its almost midnight but street in this city still crowded, traffic jam make me stuck. I really mad with this situation, and imagine that I will come home to meet Ellen make my feeling more upset. Finally I arrived at home at 12 in the midnight after 2 hours riding my car.

When I come inside I saw Ellen slept on the couch. I stop in front of her and looking at her face. She is so beautiful, I said in my heart. Woman who had relationship with me for 7 years since in high school and married with me for 5 years still so beautiful. I exhale and leave her, I remember that I still angry with her.

I enter my room, and in my wife make up table I saw that book. Ellen’s thick brown book. Many years Ellen always write her life story in that book and never let me open it. I feel so curious long time ago before we marriage, and I think this is the time. Without thinking what Ellen reaction if I read it, I grab that brown book and randomly open the page.

February14th, 1996

thank you god for your gift that means so much for me, Vincent my first man and will become my last man.

Hmmm, I smile, Ellen so sure that I will become her husband.

September 6th, 2001

I saw Vincent has dinner with another woman, he smile so sweet and romantic, God I hope that Vincent not move his heart from me.

My heart feels stop beating…

October 23rd, 2001

I found thank you letter for the birthday candle light dinner from the woman named Melly, who is she God? Please open my eyes for what you wan me to know…

My heart really wan to stop, Melly is the woman who close with me in 5 years relationship of me and Ellen. Melly, who because of her I almost leave Ellen because I feel boring with her. I decided not to meet Melly anymore after 4 months and keep loyal to Ellen. I never realize that Ellen knows i have affair with Melly.

January 4th, 2002

a woman named Melly come to me, she insult me and told that Vincent has affair with her. Oh god please give me your power to be strong.

How could Ellen can be that strong, she never tell me a word or crying in front of me after she knows I betrayed her. I know Melly, she must be hurt Ellen so much with her words. I cant breathe, I cant imagine what Ellen feel in that time.

February 14th, 2002

Vincent propose me in our 6 years anniversary. God what should I do? Please give me a sign, what decision that I have to take?

February 14th 2003

The greatest Sunday, I become Mrs. Alexandre Vincent. Thank you God.

July 18th, 2005

Our first fight as a family, I hope I’m not put too much sugar anymore in his tea, god help me to make tea perfectly for my husband.

April 7th, 2006.

Vincent angry with me, I slept when he come home from works so he has to wait too long in front of the house. All this day I go to mall looking for watch that he really wants, I wan to give that watch in his birthday in the next 2 days. God please give a peace in Vincent heart so his not angry anymore and I will not sleep in the evening before he come home even I’m so tired.

I started to cry, Ellen try to make me happy but I just angry with her without listen her explanation. That watch is my favorite watch that I still used until today. I didn’t know that she bought it with that hard effort.

November 15th, 2007

Vincent needs a table to put his coffee in family room, he really like to read in that room corner. God help me so I can save money to buy him a coffee table, a Christmas present for Vincent.

I really can’t hold my tears anymore, Ellen never said that table is a Christmas present for me. Yes, she bought it in Christmas night and put that table in that day but i didn’t knew that is for me.

I can’t open the next page anymore, Ellen really got the power from god to love me unconditionally. I run out from the room, I kiss her forehead and she’s wake up : I’m so sorry Ellen, I love you… happy birthday.