Is sex with an ex not considered cheating?

This is part 5 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth: Does cheating mean that you don’t love your partner? Read about it here. In this part, which is part 5, I will talk about a long-lived myth that sex with an ex isn’t really cheating. A lot of people seem to think that this is not cheating even though all the signs point to that. What is it about this myth that is so special? Some people reading this wants to use this article as an excuse to go ahead and do it, like a justification. Others will want me to arrive at the other conclusion that is cheating plain and simple and there’s no excuses.

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Does Cheating Mean That You Don’t Love Your Partner?

This is part 4 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth if cheating is all about sex. Read about it here. In part 4, which is the one you are reading, I will talk about the myth that cheating means that you don’t love your partner. If you put this statement out there, I’m sure most of you will agree with this: If you love your partner, you will not cheat on him/her. It all sounds very logical to me which I am sure it does to you. Love is about caring for you partner, and above all, never hurt your partner intentionally, because that is love, not hate. I will draw the conclusion that cheating is not done by accident as you can’t accidentally have sex with someone. I also think most people who cheat will know that they will hurt their partner immensely if he or she finds out. It’s true that the cheaters do feel some kind of remorse after the deed is done, but they had every possibility to end it before it happened.

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Beautiful Love Song : The Way To Show Your Love

Today, I found something interesting, in the time when I miss my love very much, you know sometimes it’s very hard to be separated from the one you love. I have many ways to keep me stronger, and one of the ways are listening to love songs which contains the lyrics that show how wonderful love is.

I found my favorite Indonesian song, I love the lyrics, I love the music and the incredible thing is that there’s a guy from Holland who’s name is Peter who sing it perfectly. He sing in Indonesian language and his voice is amazing, he made a new arrangements and the way he plays the guitar touch my heart. So I decided to show that video to my love through Skype so he will know what I feel for him and I’m crying happy tears while he watch that video. It’s an incredible feeling to express what’s inside your heart and I’m so glad that there’s a song that can say it perfectly because I know sometimes I can’t show it well how much I love him.

This song is an original song by Indonesian band  Andra & The Backbone and the title is “Sempurna”. Sempurna means perfect and I really hope that we can always see the perfection inside our partner to feel our true love and make our relationship stronger and stronger…

Enjoy this beautiful song, believe me, you will like it

Sempurna : Original by Andra&The Backbone

(Cover by Dutch Singer nlpeter)

Is Cheating All About Sex?

This is part 3 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. Previous parts: Part 1, Part 2.

Check out the previous part in the series where I answered the myth that men is cheating more than women. Read about it here. For this part we will discuss a myth that is still very much alive. Is cheating all about sex? Even faced with that question raises an interesting dilemma. Is it only cheating if sex is involved? There are a lot of opinions about that one and I’m sure you got yours. To define cheating seems an impossible task as it is very subjective and touchy matter. For example for some people, if you just look at another person it’s like emotional cheating. Some draw the line at hugs and kisses and some don’t see it as cheating unless there is actual sex, and that includes oral sex (sorry Bill!). But for this article we assume that sex has to be involved somehow at least sexual emotions and feelings because at some stage the “cheating” will evolve to that and most people think that it’s all about the sex, but is it really?

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Are Men Cheating More Than Women?

This is the Part 2 of the TLG Cheating Myths series. You can find Part 1 here.

In the last part I discussed whether cheating happens because we are unhappy at home, and the findings were rather interesting. Read about it here. In Part 2 we are discussing the ancient myth that men are cheating more than women. Is that really so, even in 2008? In the old days, it was definitely the case, and when I talk about the old days, I mean the 60s, 50s and even before that. It was a different time then, but does time change man? When you read the news today you hear all about some war going on somewhere which just shows we never learn. Does the myth still hold truth in 2008?

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Are we cheating because we are unhappy at home?

This is the Part 1 of the TLG Cheating Myths series.

If you read the headline, I’m sure you’re going “Duh!”. Well this is one of the old myths of cheating. It’s always because we are unhappy at home, right? Unhappy with the wife, husband or kids will surely drive you to cheating. Although cheating never made any sense to me, it’s interesting to look at the various reasons for cheating. I know people who are unhappy at home, but I can’t see them cheating on each other for that reason.

If you are a man, heads up! According to recent studies, it’s the women who cheat the most for this particular reason. I think it is because women are emotional thinkers and men are rational beasts. The women are more in tune with their feelings and emotions while men care less for the “small” things. I am generalizing here, but there is truth to it. That’s why the recent studies make sense. Men, you need to pay attention to how you treat your wife. Trouble in the home is a huge reason for women to do the dirty deed with someone else. I am not making excuses for them as there are none whatsoever, but the facts are the facts. Pay attention to the signs and take early steps in order for you both to be as happy as possible.

If you are a woman, then you’re in for quite a challenge. First some good news: Men are not very likely to cheat because they are unhappy at home. Their reasoning is very structured and logical. They simply think the risk is too big to take, and don’t want to be humiliated and exposed so they rather stay unhappy than cheat. There is a noteworthy exception according to studies. If, and it’s a very big if, they know that they can get away with it, they will most likely do it. The keyword here is know. If they think they can get away with it, they probably won’t do it. So keep your man happy, and he will give you happy days? Unfortunately there is more bad news for you women. Men WILL cheat on you even if they love you and have great sex with you as well. In fact, 56% of cheating men are very happy with their relationship. That is as disturbing as it is true. Even if the stats are discouraging, I believe that there is something the stats are not revealing, the level of communication. There needs to be constant flow of good communication from both sides, and I also believe that for men it is numero uno to be 100% comfortable. If you have great communication and comfort together, then cheating won’t be a problem.

To answer the myth: If you are a woman, yes. If you are a man, no.

TLG SERIES: The 12 Myths About Cheating

This is a world premiere of The Love Geek’s first official blogging series. What does it mean? Well, it means that we will write about a subject so big, that we have created a series of 14 posts in total and this is the first one. So what will this series be about? It will expose the biggest myths about cheating and tell you the truth about the reality we live in, whether those myths are true or not. We will explore each subject and delve deeply into what possible causes there are for these myths to be alive and what you can do not to make the same mistakes as the ones created the myths have.

This is a little preview of what you can look forward to:

1. Are we cheating because we are unhappy at home?
2. Are men cheating more than women?
3. Is cheating all about sex?
4. Does cheating mean that you don’t love your partner?
5. Is sex with an ex not considered cheating?
6. Can you create a foolproof system so you are never cheated?
7. Is a cheater always doomed to be a cheater?
8. Should you not tell your partner when you have been cheating?
9. Is it really cheating if no one finds out?
10. Without sex, is it cheating?
11. Is fantasizing about someone else considered cheating?
12. Can an affair actually improve the relationship?
13. Conclusion

These are all important questions we will answer and more so stay tuned for this exciting premiere and happy reading! TIP: If you want to make sure you don’t miss anything, you can always subscribe to our RSS feed.

Love Trouble From The Past

Andrew G. Marshall, the author of “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship” says in that book that 80% of what we argue about in our relationships stems from our childhood, our past and only 20% are related to the ongoing relationship. That is quite an interesting and eye opening fact, but it’s also something that isn’t so surprising when you think of it. Think of your life, everything you ever did and thought about. Simply the way you have become the person you are today, how does it all add up? More importantly, how can you let go of your past mistakes and that of your partner?

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Important!

Due to changing of web hosts, there will be some delays in our posting schedule. Hopefully we’ll be back to full capacity on Sunday or Monday depending on a few things. Have a great weekend everyone!

Video Inspirational : Don’t Give Up

Major spoilers ahead (If you haven’t seen or plan to see the movie The Mist, DO NOT read the following paragraph):

To many times people give up when troubles come without knowing it’s only a few steps ahead to get what they want. I remember I watched a movie called “The Mist”, some of my friends said the ending of that movie sucked. But even so, I saw something different from that ending. It showed me the part of the human character. There are dangerous creatures that come and attack the city. The main character in that movie, finally killed 4 people (one of them is his own child) because they think they didn’t have hope, they really sure that the creatures will kill them, so before it happen they decided to kill themselves. Fear and desperate Read the rest of this entry »